I Don't Get It
by Black-Dranzer-1119
Summary: Such a simple statement, but one that will change all their lives forever. Spock/Kirk and Spock/Uhura
1. Uhura: I don't get it

**In honour of William Shatner's and Leonard Nimoy's birthday I decided to write a Star Trek fic. This is really late, though to be fair I started on the 25****th**** and I have had uni. Besides, it's not like each of them will read this anyway. Anyway enjoy.**

* * *

Looking across the bridge, Nyota could barely believe it had only been a year since the destruction of Vulcan. If she knew then that everything would turn out like this, she wouldn't have believed it. For one thing most of them had been cadets, and it had looked like Spock and Kirk would have a rivalry that would last until one of them killed the other. It wasn't like she had imagined her boyfriend choking the captain, after all.

No, they were very much over that little incident it seemed, as she watched them standing so close to each other their shoulders brushed. She also found that she practically had to book an appointment to spend her downtime with her _boyfriend_. **How many games of chess can you really play?** Sometimes it almost felt as though he were dating the Captain instead of her, and it hurt. She would never tell him that, though, he would believe she was being illogical and she would be. Vulcan's weren't very affectionate and so the fact that he allowed her to be so with him… She practically heard glass shatter and she was reminded of a twenty-first century television series, only she worked it out on her own. He had _allowed_ her to be affectionate with him and the distinction between allowing and wanting suddenly seemed very great. **How had I not seen it before?** Was she so love sick that was willing to accept one sided affection?

She looked at Spock, who had turned to look at his station, only for her stomach to flutter and she realised she may possibly, probably be that lovesick. Suddenly the butterflies died quicker than if doused with bug spray, as Kirk clapped Spock on the shoulder and moved to stand beside him. She had never really paid too much attention to their interactions before, but now her hidden insecurities had kicked in, and it was hard to do anything else. It was only made worse by the fact Spock hadn't wished to spend time with her yesterday, on the anniversary of the death of Vulcan. Even if they hadn't talked about it, she would have liked to have been there for him. Instead he ended up skipping dinner and probably spent the time meditating in his room.

After finding herself unable to draw her attention away from the two men, she was surprised that Spock hadn't noticed her lack of attention to her work and she almost wished he would. After their rocky beginning, it was incredible just how determined Spock and Kirk seemed in becoming friends. It was as though they were aware of something she wasn't and whatever was seemed to be slowly killing off… Well not exactly killing, more like stunting, the relationships between them and anyone else. After Spock decided to become first officer and they had begun a relationship, she had believed she was about to live her happily ever after with the man of her dreams, only her happily ever after would be far more exciting than any fairytale she'd ever be feed as a child. Now looking at the perfectly synced captain and first officer… **How am I supposed to compete with that?** Despite reading every available text on Vulcans and practicing for hours to get the Ta'al right, it didn't seem to matter when Kirk could just skip that and have Spock open up to him so easily. **Maybe I should…**

'Spock, can I speak with you?' She said, by his side before she realised it, having changed her mind at the last moment. Straightening, Spock turned to face her, and nodded in consent.

'Go ahead Spock, I can handle it from here and I will inform… Percy was it? What it is we have been up to,' Kirk said and for a moment she felt an irrational anger at the captain, as though her needs were less important than his.

'I find it fascinating that you have such an illogical need to create a different name for my stand in every time you mention him,' Spock said and Nyota was reminded why it was that she was about to have the conversation that she was with Spock.

'It's more fun that way, besides that way I won't have a name to give to the admirals for a possible replacement when you finally decide you can't stand me anymore and you will have to stick around,' Kirk said a wide grin on his face. **Did I just turn invisible or something?**

'Indeed,' Spock said, eyebrow raised, before he finally addressed her. 'Do you require that we relocate for the duration of this conversation?'

'I'd appreciate that, yes,' Nyota said trying to hold down the emotions that started to bubble beneath her skin. Spock nodded and she led them back to her own quarters in hopes the familiar location would make her feel more at ease.

'I don't get it,' Nyota said the words bursting from her lips the moment the door closed behind them.

'You are not being specific, I do not know what it is that you are referring to,' Spock said, and had he been fully human he still wouldn't look half as confused as Nyota felt then.

'I have thought it over again and again; heck, I nearly asked Kirk on the off chance it would help, but I have come to the conclusion, I don't get it,' Nyota said, part of her praying she would get the answers she needed to erase her fears once and for all.

'Why is it that you chose not to make an enquiry to the captain?' Spock said, his hands moving behind his back.

'Because I realised that it would only serve to make it worse,' she admitted, not really knowing how to proceed. Part of her wished Spock would just know the problem, like he seemed to with Kirk of late.

'As you appear convinced of this, may I enquire as the matter that is troubling you, as it may be beneficial for the two of us to combine our efforts to allow for greater efficiency of thought,' Spock said and she clung to the demonstration of concern like it was a life line.

'Is that you way of saying two heads are better than one?' She said, the joke falling flat in her ears.

'While that idiom is highly illogical, I believe it correctly surmises what I stated,' Spock said, the familiarity of the moment causing things to start falling back into place.

'Thanks, but no thanks Spock. I think that your help would only make things worse too,' Nyota said, still unsure if she could handle the answers of all the questions she wished to ask.

'Your gratitude is illogical as you have not allowed me to do anything. Will you tell me the logic behind this dismissal?' Spock said and Nyota wondered if she had offended him by not accepting his help and she fought a smile. **He's worried about me.**

'I'm sorry Spock, but I doubt you would see the logic, of my logic.' Standing in front of Spock now and trying to convey what had seemed so logical before made her wonder if she wasn't simply blowing everything out of proportion. 'I don't even really see my logic anymore. I'm sorry that I dragged you away from work like that.'

'You did not 'drag' me away from anything. You are distressed. If I can assist in alleviating that stress, then it is only logical that I do so.' Spock said with such a quiet determination that Nyota couldn't resist the tiny smile that crept across her face.

'You're sweet,' Nyota said drinking in the dark eyes and smooth fair skin. Leaning up on her toes she raised her hands to cradle his face as she drew him down for a chaste kiss, her mouth buzzing from the rare, but brief contact. 'Thankyou.' **How could I have ever considered letting this go.** Spock's comm. buzzed and his hand automatically reached down to answer it.

'Spock here.'

'Oh hi Spock.' **It's Kirk. Of course it's Kirk, who else would it be?** 'I was just wondering if we are still on for chess.'

'Of course captain. I will be there momentarily,' Spock said.

'For the last time Spock, it's Jim.' Nyota barely restrained a giggle as she heard the fond annoyance in the Kirk's voice. **It's crazy how happy I can be, just being around him.**

'Your statement is misleading, as it implies you will desist after this attempt,' Spock said and Nyota felt her mouth drop open. **Since when did my oh-so-Vulcan boyfriend start cracking jokes?**

'Ok, that's it, you are so going down,' Kirk said trying to sound annoyed, but Nyota could hear the laughter in his voice.

'Indeed, if it pleases you to believe such an illogical assumption, you may do so,' Spock said and Nyota had a dark suspicion that Spock must have somehow forgotten her presence, as she had never seen that twinkle in his eye before, and she vaguely heard Kirk laugh.

'Illogical? Who was it that won two rounds in a row last night,' Kirk shot back and Nyota felt herself grow cold. 'Face it, even if I am the most illogical player of chess, I still beat you.'

'You are behaving childishly, however to deny your victory would be, illogical,' Spock said smoothly.

'Spock, I thought you said… But yesterday was…' Nyota said, trying to keep the hurt from her voice.

'Oh, you're there too Nyota, can I call you Nyota? I mean we're friends now right?' Kirk said and Nyota fought the urge to gag. Ok, he turned out not to be a complete moron, and he is a far better captain than anyone with his level of experience really ought to be, and so in her weaker moments she had found himself referring to him as such, however…

'It's Uhura,' she said, with more bite than she intended.

'I'll wear you down, eventually,' Kirk said and for a moment she realised he probably would… until she remembered why she was so pissed off in the first place and looked up at Spock.

'Well?' She demanded.

'Judging from your tone and accenting, you are asking me a question, yet I know not how to answer,' Spock said and Nyota nearly growled. Spock's Vulcan moments were becoming less often since he began spending time with Kirk and herself, but the moments of misunderstanding always came at the worst times.

'Yesterday was the anniversary of… that,' Nyota said emphatically. 'When you said you would prefer not to have dinner with me, I thought that you were intending to meditate or something.' Nyota felt the fear that had previously been squashed, slowly rise.

'Um, I think I will just go now. See you Spock, Uhura,' Kirk said, almost sounding nervous.

'I shall join you soon,' Spock said and Nyota felt as though she had been slapped. **Doesn't he realise that I'm upset? Or doesn't he care now he is missing out on his precious chess time?**

'Spock,' She said indignantly, as he closed the comm.

'It was not my intention to upset you. I did not…' Spock paused and Nyota realised he was about to say '_feel_'. '…As Kirk went through a similar loss, I believed it only logical and not inconvenience you.'

'Maybe I wanted to be inconvenienced,' Nyota said, not bothering to hide her anger. 'Spock I _care_ about you and I want you to be able to come and talk to me, even if you believe what you feel is illogical.'

'I accept your concern for me, however, it was not my wish to change my routine due to the date being one earth year after the death of Vulcan and she who was my mother,' Spock said. 'If you are placated now, I will leave to attend the chess match against the captain. I believe that I have discovered a method which will give me the tactical advantage.'

'Placated? Leave? Spock you can't just walk away like this,' Nyota said, disbelief colouring her voice as the illusions she had built up around this being fell away like glass, shredding her on its way down. 'Don't I matter to you anymore?**'** Damn it, she hadn't meant to say that.

'That statement is more illogical than I believed of you,' Spock said and Nyota felt her anger grow.

'Forgive me, I'm only human,' Nyota said bitterly.

'If you desire, I will return after the match and we will discuss this further,' Spock said and Nyota just nodded, surrendering now. 'Then I will return in approximately two hours time.'

As the door closed again, all the anger fell away again and all Nyota was left with was a choked sob. It was never so hard as when you believe you doubts to be paranoia, only to shown exactly why you were so '_paranoid'_ in the first place.

* * *

It was exactly half an hour after Spock had said he would arrive and Nyota ha decided to give up and go to bed. Logically, she was aware that Spock would be there soon, but she wasn't feeling logical at that moment and her _'illogical'_ feelings were screaming at her that she was once more being put second, possibly even _third_. Nyota never really considered at what level the Enterprise factored into the equation. During the two and a half hours that Spock had been away, Nyota had revised everything she wished to say to him the moment he arrived and before she realised it she was pacing back and forth across the room.

…**Too angry…**

…**Too subtle…**

…**Now he's going to think I love Kirk…**

…**Now he's going think I think **_he_** loves Kirk…**

…**Why am I thinking about Tribbles?…**

…**Scotty really needs to fix that light…**

…_Really_** not the time…**

…**What is so great about chess?…**

…**Ok, bad mental imagery…**

…**Why am I thinking about Sulu and Chekov right now?...**

…**Maybe he does…**

…**I really need to get my head checked…**

…**Ugh, this recycled air is wrecking my skin…**

…**Focus Nyota, **_now_**…**

…**Ok, that is just insane…**

…**Maybe I should reconsider my first idea, Spock does need things to be blunt sometimes…**

…**Now he's **_really_** going to think I think he loves Kirk…**

…**That's it I'm going to bed.**

With that thought she crossed the room and changed into her pyjamas which consisted of an overly large T-shirt that she had got for free with something she bought a few years before and some light shorts. In a random after thought she turned the temperature down a few degrees from the slightly warmer than comfortable temperature she had it at to accommodate her boyfriend. Ok, she was feeling spiteful, but in her defence she was also really tired. **I can't handle this right now.**

'Lights to off,' Nyota said as climbed into bed, pulling the sheets up around her to make up for the coolness that suddenly descended.

…**What if he shows up?...**

…**There is now way **_chess_** could be taking this long…**

…**I really am paranoid aren't I?...**

…**Damn it Nyota, just go to slee-**

The sound of her door bell chimed, effectively cutting off that thought.

'Lights to seventy percent,' Nyota groaned, sitting up and swung herself off the bed. **I just got comfortable too.** Allowing the door to open, Spock came in, only raising an eyebrow at her change of attire. Making a show of looking at the clock on her bedside table, she said, 'I thought you said two hours.'

'I made that approximation based on the length of time I usually spend playing chess with the captain. Due to the nature of our discussion at the time of my calculation, I did not factor in the additional time that was added due to the events that occurred three hundred and sixty-six Earth days ago.' Spock said all this with his usual calm manner, as though talking to Kirk about things that he wouldn't even tell her was perfectly normal. Feeling a bit disorientated now that Spock was actually there, as well the rush of anger almost forced her to sit down. **Fine, if this is going to happen right now, he can tell me right now.**

'I don't get it.'

'As I said in our previous conversation, that phrase on its own is ambiguous and thus I can make no suitable answer,' Spock said smoothly, his gaze fixed upon her face, studying it for any indication of meaning.

'You and Kirk, I don't get it,' Nyota said and for a moment she felt herself relax as she finally said what the problem was. Only for a moment.

'You continue to avoid specifying what it is that you fail to understand. Am I correct in my hypothesis that this is the reason for our prior conversation?' Nyota ignored his question as she attempted to phrase her own in such a way that he would understand and not believe her to be as illogical as she half wondered that she was being.

'You and Kirk… Why are you so determined to be friends all of a sudden?' Nyota said, feeling proud at her mostly innocuous question. 'I mean I understand that you two got over your problem with each other while fighting Nero, but this…'

'You are correct in your belief that the Captain and I came to an understanding in the fight against Nero,' Spock said and was suddenly staring intently at a point just to the right of her ear and Nyota realised that he must be nervous. 'However, both the Captain and myself have failed to inform you of another event which has caused the both of us to deem it logical to become further acquainted with each other.'

'Excuse me?' Nyota said, unable to believe her ears.

'Due to the nature of the information that I will tell you, I must request that this conversation in its entirety, be known only to yourself,' Spock said, his eyes fixed on the same spot.

'Fine,' Nyota said, curiosity mixed in with her fear. Had Spock been fully human he probably would have taken a deep breath at that point, but he simply began.

'As you are aware, Nero and the others on board the Nerada came from an alternate future, however, his ship was not the only one to arrive here from that time,' Spock said and Nyota drew in a sharp breath. 'To my knowledge, only the captain and myself are aware of the true identity of the ship's pilot, however, it is logical to believe that others have been made aware of that particular information.'

'So who is it?' Nyota demanded.

'It is myself,' Spock said simply and Nyota's eyes widened.

'Wait, wait, wait… what? Are you saying there is two of you running around here?' Nyota said, trying to wrap her mind around the idea that another, most likely older version of her boyfriend existed in this universe. **How could he keep this from me?**

'Though that is an inaccurate description of our current action, the nature of the question is not incorrect,' Spock said and Nyota felt a flare of irritation at his correction. 'As you are also aware, after the… destruction of my home world, I marooned the captain on Delta Vega for mutiny. It was there, Nero stranded my counter part, so he would witness the destruction of Vulcan. It was also at that time the two became acquainted with each other and the captain was convinced to force me to reveal the level at which I had been compromised. It was due to their meeting, the captain was able to return to the ship in time to save Earth, using a formula that Mr. Scott created in the alternate timeline. The captain was sworn to secrecy and so I was unaware of the possibility of my counterpart's existence in this universe, until I was required to fly the ship which brought him into this universe. I was later confronted by him after my decision to resign from Starfleet.'

'So you really were going to leave then,' Nyota said the cold feeling returning.

'I believed it to be logical at the time, to assist in rebuilding my species,' Spock said and Nyota felt like cursing his ability to hide his emotions so well. 'With the existence of my counterpart, my assistance was no longer necessary and I was told to 'follow my heart'. He then informed me that in the alternate timeline, the captain and myself had a friendship which defined us both.' **So that's why.** 'Due to my strained relationship with my father, the death of my mother and the difficulties I found in acceptance from other Vulcan's due to my human mother, this potential appealed to me in a way that I had not expected.'

'I need to know, was I even the slightest influence in you choosing to become first officer?' Nyota said, unsure that she wanted the answer.

'I do not know how to proceed, since I believe your question stems from emotion and my actions at that time were made with the intention to comply fully with what was logical…'

'That's bullshit and you know it,' Nyota said, her fear now confirmed. 'And don't even think about telling me about how the use of that term is illogical. Why are you even with me?'

'I believed that my presence was required to discuss your present distress,' Spock said causing Nyota to almost laugh and that scared her.

'You know that is not what I meant,' Nyota said sharply. 'Why are you in a romantic relationship with me?'

'It is logical,' Spock said, his words setting fire to her blood.

'Ok then, why are you friends with Kirk?' Nyota said, her teeth clenched.

'I request that you open your mouth to allow for clearer communication,' Spock said though, Nyota noticed then that the space between them had widened.

'Stop avoiding the question,' Nyota said more clearly this time.

'Due to the illogical nature of this discussion, I must take time to consider my words, to prevent the situation from escalating beyond this point,' Spock said and for a moment Nyota felt happiness that he cared enough about her to be careful with his words.

'Why do you keep referring to Kirk as 'the captain'?' Nyota said, unable to help herself. **I must be a masochist.**

'I thought it logical to refer to him as such, due to the source of your stress being the relationship between myself and the captain,' Spock said and Nyota realised to her annoyance that it had helped.

'Well, don't… and answer my question,' Nyota said, sounding sulky even in her own ears.

'Very well. Jim and myself have agreed that due to the strong connection between ourselves in the alternate timeline, it would be logical to attempt such a friendship in this one. This has proven to be more successful than either of us anticipated. Jim has an extremely logical mind; one that works in the most fascinatingly illogical ways,' Spock said, and Nyota swore she saw his eyes light up now that he had begun, seeming almost animated for a vulcan. 'In chess, for example, he never follows any recognisable strategy, and yet he is able to win in forty-nine point five percent of our games. He is ruled by emotion and yet never allows others to control those emotions. It is… fascinating.' **And all I got was, it was logical. What does that mean anyway?**

'Are you attracted to him?' Nyota said, needing to know if it truly was only a life changing friendship, or if it could be more. Spock raised an eyebrow.

'His mind is…'

'I meant physically. Are you attracted to him?' Nyota said, cutting him off, her voice raising as if to drown out her own thoughts.

'I had not considered Jim in terms of aesthetics,' Spock said. 'Is there anything else you wish to know?' **That's not an answer, that's not even a good evasion.**

'Would you be able to give me the contact details of your counterpart?' Nyota said, not bothering for a more straight forward answer, not sure she wanted one. **Kirk wasn't able to be so… **_active,_** because he's smart**.

* * *

Nyota took a deep breath as she connected the call to the new Vulcan planet. In a few seconds she would be talking to an alternate universe version of her boyfriend, who was, according to Spock, about one hundred and twenty-seven years older. She did not have long to panic, before a serene looking Vulcan appeared on the screen.

'Spock…' She said quietly, unable to believe her eyes. It was Spock, but time and circumstances had changed him greatly from the Spock she knew. For one thing he was certainly more expressive.

'Miss Uhura, has something occurred? Why has my counterpart informed you of my existence?' Spock said and that told Nyota all she needed to know. Obviously 'her' Spock, and she used the term loosely, hadn't informed this Spock of this particular change in the time line, and she was certain it was a change.

'They're fine,' Nyota said, knowing he would work out who 'they' were. 'I just had a talk with Spock, and he told me. I have a few questions concerning him and captain which I wanted cleared up, so I got him to give me your contact information.'

'Fascinating,' Spock said quietly. 'What is it that you wish to ask?' The similarities in their speech, their movements… everything, caused Nyota's barely contained anger and frustration to erupt once more.

'When you deemed it necessary to interfere with their relationship, didn't you consider that in pushing those two together, you would be effectively making them drive everyone else away?' Nyota said angrily, eyes flashing. **Why is everything working against us?**

'I had considered that, however, I did not believe that to be the case. Even if it had been, I would not have changed my actions, as my relationship with Jim has always been the most important of my life and I could not allow my mistake to cost my counterpart of all that entailed,' Spock said, his expression unchanging in spite of her anger.

'Well you were wrong. I have been in a romantic relationship with your counterpart for almost a year now,' Nyota said bitterly, with a touch of dark triumph as Spock's eyes widened.

'My counterpart had not informed me of this; however, it was never my intention to hurt you. Indeed, the only other relationship either of us had of any particular strength was with Leonard McCoy,' Spock said with such sincerity that Nyota felt herself weaken.

'I guess you probably don't get to talk much,' Nyota said, more for her benefit than his.

'No, we talk quite frequently, and that is why I find it so illogical to be made unaware of this,' Spock said and Nyota felt her feeble hope crumble.

'What do you talk about then?' Nyota said quietly, unable to look at the man she was speaking to.

'It is illogical to request the answer to a question of which you know the answer,' Spock said gently and Nyota could only nod. 'While I do not regret my actions, I must stress that I was not aware until this conversation that there was any connection between my counterpart and yourself. I simply could not allow for the possibility that they could become any less than what we were…'

'Who gave you that right? So you screwed up and the future changed, why didn't you give me the chance to become that important to him. Why does it have to be Kirk?' Nyota said, her voice becoming steadily louder until she was yelling, ignoring the way her vision blurred a tear ran down her cheek.

'Despite our lack of romantic attachment in my time, you were a friend and it pains me that I have hurt you. If I had not intervened, however, he would never have returned to the Enterprise and have spent the remainder of his life on the planet we have selected to colonise. Now that he has returned to the Enterprise, I find it illogical to think that Jim and my counterpart could not have become friends, I merely pointed out the possibility,' Spock said. It was then Nyota realised there was something he wasn't telling her and her eyes narrowed.

'Were things between you and 'Jim' any more than friends?' Nyota said. **And the award for best masochist in a romantic relationship goes to…** A crash could be heard in the background and a young Vulcan appeared beside Spock.

'Elder Selek, a situation has occurred that requires your attention,' the vulcan said, his worry barely concealed. **I guess he would have to use a false name so that people wouldn't find out his identity.**

'I must depart now. If you have further questions you may contact me,' Spock said and a moment later the screen was dark.

* * *

_**The next few days were hard and not only due to my problems with Spock. The universal translator had failed to an extreme amount on the last mission, which almost led to Kirk being married, Spock being shot and Chekov being stoned to death. You can probably guess which one I was the most upset about. How anyone can even think about hurting that kid is beyond me. It all ended well, though… Ok, not exactly well. I guess Kirk can't help the fact that he is extremely compatible with my boyfriend which he wouldn't have realised had it not been for some meddling time travelling replica of my boyfriend... Not bitter much am I? And it ended with Kirk being shot, Spock being stoned to protect Kirk (only a few stones, barely even bruised) and Chekov somehow becoming engaged to Sulu. How that all happened is way too complicated for me to think about and I'm not sure I want to know how that works out.**_

So far Nyota had managed to avoid Spock and had been achieving the status of out of sight out of mind, but she was hoping to over achieve and make it out of heart too. It was the end and she knew it. She didn't want to be second place in the eyes of the one she loved and she knew she didn't deserve it. It was a lot easier to decide this all on her own, than tell Spock and have to talk about it. The worst part was Spock would likely have no idea why she would be doing it without a detailed explanation that Nyota just couldn't give. As she was brushing her hair on her bed, she heard her door buzz and she placed the brush down to answer the door.

'_What have you done?'_

* * *

**Just wondering, does anyone know what television show I was referring to? I saw the episode recently and I could resist referencing it. Anyway I hope you all liked the chapter since this is my first time writing Star Trek and apart from the movie, I have only seen about 16 episodes of TOS, so I hope I got them relatively in character. Thanks for reading and I will hopefully have the sequel up soon. This will be in three parts with Nyota, Spock and Kirk as the main POV for each part. Wish me luck.**


	2. Spock pt 1: Spock doesn't get it either

**Hi, sorry for the delay in posting the next chapter, I always knew this would be a slowly updated one, but I had to post it today since it is the anniversary of the first time Star Trek aired, Thursday the 8****th**** of September 1966. Unfortunately… or fortunately I have broken this one down into two parts and will post the next part as soon as I finish writing it, which should be soon since I wanted to have it written today. Anyway this chapter is in Spock's POV and it really was quite difficult so I hope I did ok for a first try. Enjoy part 1.**

* * *

It was not logical. Spock was aware of this and yet he maintained his course of action; humans were of course illogical beings by nature and so logically one must use methods that would otherwise be considered illogical when dealing with them. What he had not foreseen was time period it would take to accomplish his objective. His current objective was the termination of the assumed relationship between himself and Miss Uhura. Since the loss of his planet he had managed to, for the most part, re-establish his shields on his emotions. This was not pleasing to Uhura, as all she desired went against everything he was taught to be Vulcan. She did not understand how these behaviours had become far more important with the loss of so much of their culture and so it was only logical to end the 'relationship'. Due to their current working conditions, he had decided it would only be logical for Uhura, the sole active participant in the arrangement, to be the one to terminate it. This would, with a fair degree of certainty, (he had yet to calculate the percentage, as there were currently too many variables), allow for a more stable working environment post termination.

Spock's plan was a simple one, as they had shown to have greater effect when dealing with humans, since they allowed for a greater number of variables. In essence he was simply to spend a decreasing amount of time in Uhura's presence, in order for Uhura to be given an opportunity to assess if she believed it would be logical to remain in a relationship with him of this nature. This decrease of time spent with Uhura has then allowed for a greater amount of his 'free time' to be allocated to spending with the captain.

When Spock had first proposed a game of chess with the captain, he had been quite certain that he would be mistaken in doing so. Despite the urging of his counter part, he had been unconvinced that the changes in the timelines had not made such a friendship impossible.

That had not been the case.

To put it simply, Kirk was fascinating and was the perfect example of illogical logic, to the point where Spock almost believed in luck. As a captain he had surpassed Spock's every expectation of him, knowing when to negotiate and when to fight and when to back away, which with experience would make him into a great captain.

It had been the second game of chess that Spock mentioned his encounter with himself. Due to the limited knowledge he had of the captain, he had expected for him to react negatively to the news he had been lied to. Instead a broad grin brightened Kirk's face. It was as if the sun had dispelled dark clouds. Spock felt dizzy just being near such a mercurial being.

'Let me guess; he was cheating again, wasn't he?' Kirk had said, before requesting to know everything that was said. To Spock's continued surprise, Kirk then suggested that they play chess on a regular basis to maintain a stable working relationship. The fact they spent most of their time with each other on the bridge and was therefore unnecessary to spend further time with each other was overlooked by both. This gave Spock the needed excuse to avoid spending time in Uhura's company and gave an escape when she became more physical with him than he could handle. Despite the regularity of the chess matches, and frequent wins on both sides, Spock never allowed Kirk a victory to the degree of their first match.

Spending time with Kirk, instead of Uhura, was a pattern he found he fell into all too easily and soon he found himself accompanying Kirk back to his quarters, or to have meals at the end of shifts, eager to hear his opinions about matters concerning his work, or the current mission, or whatever they had been discussing the night before, once the chess matches became an almost nightly occurrence. Despite Spock's love of all things logical, it was only possible to play chess so many times before it became tedious and the fascinating nature of their discussions soon found them stretching one match over an average of 2.684 days. It was about this time when he was reminded of the reason behind the matches, when Uhura confronted him about the relationship. He had been on the bridge at the time, discussing the coming mission with the captain, when Uhura approached him, requesting his attention. It quickly became clear, Uhura desired to speak to him in private; this was largely unprofessional, however their shift was to end in 10.742 minutes and an emergency was unlikely. The Captain also seemed to find his situation amusing and quickly granted Uhura's request, but not without finding a new name for his current stand in, Pitarson _(Peter-son)_. They then relocated to his quarters, Spock silently curious as to the reason behind such a disruption.

'I don't get it,' Uhura said, a look on her face that he had come to learn as expectation, though he didn't know what was expected of him. He told her this, but her response only revealed that it involved the captain and himself. In an effort to relieve her tension, he deliberately misquoted a saying, which had never failed when conversing with the captain. In this case, however, he was unsuccessful, appearing to make Uhura even more distressed. His confusion was only increased when Uhura rose up on her toes to kiss him, barely restraining a wince as her emotions forced their way past his shields. She seemed to have calmed and at a fortuitous time as his comm. buzzed.

'Spock here.'

'Oh, hi Spock.' It was the captain. For a moment Spock considered an incident had occurred on the bridge before dismissing it, realising it was more likely Kirk had finished his shift and was enquiring about continuing their chess match. 'I was just wondering if we are still on for chess.'

'Of course captain. I will be there momentarily,' Spock said, his mind running through the tactics he was planning to incorporate to achieve victory.

'For the last time Spock, it's Jim,' Kirk said, the now familiar exasperation in his voice, though Spock could tell there was a 79.583% chance Kirk was grinning.

'Your statement is misleading, as it implies you will desist after this attempt,' Spock said, the familiar banter relaxing the tension he had not realised he felt.

'Ok, that's it, you are so going down,' Kirk said and Spock knew the percentage had risen to 99.987, as he heard the Captain laugh and he felt illogically pleased at the achievement.

'Indeed, if it pleases you to believe such an illogical assumption, you may do so,' Spock said, confident in the strategies he planned.

'Illogical? Who was it that won two rounds in a row last night,' Kirk said and Spock fought a frown. Kirk had won two matches the day before, but at a strange, ancient Earth word game Kirk had taught him in honour of the date, hangman, not chess as was implied. 'Face it; even if I am the most illogical player of chess, I still beat you.'

'You are behaving childishly, however to deny your victories would be, illogical,' Spock said determined, to enquire as to Kirk's thoughts once they could speak privately.

'Spock, I thought you said… But yesterday was…' Uhura said and Spock realised what Kirks objective had been.

'Oh, you're there too Nyota, can I call you Nyota? I mean we're friends now right?' Kirk said, as though surprised, despite the fact he had been the one to grant them leave of the bridge and so logically he would have known she would still be in Spock's presence. The comment was timed well, however, and Spock was grateful.

'It's Uhura,' she said forcefully.

'I'll wear you down, eventually,' Kirk said and from Kirk's past actions, Spock had no doubt that he would eventually succeed.

'Well?' Uhura said, placing stress on the word as if to ask a question, though combined with her expression indicated only a 2.364% chance of her question being reference to her conversation with Kirk about the use of her first name.

'Judging from your tone and accenting, you are asking me a question, yet I know not how to answer,' Spock said, accepting defeat.

'Yesterday was the anniversary of… _that_,' Uhura said continuing to place stress on her words. 'When you said you would prefer not to have dinner with me, I thought that you were intending to meditate or something.' Spock's eyebrow raised, Uhura's conclusion that he would be meditating was illogical based on his previous behaviour. He had thought she would have known he would be playing chess with Kirk, as he had been for most nights and could not deduce what method had led to her assumption.

'Um, I think I will just go now. See you Spock, Uhura,' Kirk said and Spock deduced that Kirk was attempting to allow for easier communication by removing his presence, however…

'I shall join you soon,' Spock said, knowing that the conversation would likely require a method of escape in the next few minutes, before closing the comm.

'Spock,' Uhura said in an illogical attempt to gain his attention, despite already having it.

'It was not my intention to upset you. I did not…' Spock paused, realising he about to say "feel", but that was not the motive behind his logic and so he did not understand why he almost stated it. '…As Kirk went through a similar loss, I believed it only logical and not inconvenience you,' Spock said, though that too was not quite accurate either, but it would service for the moment.

'Maybe I wanted to be inconvenienced,' Uhura said; her body held in such a way as to indicate a high level of tension. 'Spock I _care_ about you and I want you to be able to come and talk to me, even if you believe what you feel is illogical.'

'I accept your concern for me, however, it was not my wish to change my routine due to the date being one earth year after the death of Vulcan and she who was my mother,' Spock said, once again stating a contributing factor as the reason behind his logic. Knowing there was a high probability of being further retained if he were to linger, he continued. 'If you are placated now, I will leave to attend the chess match against the captain. I believe that I have discovered a method which will give me the tactical advantage.'

'Placated? Leave? Spock you can't just walk away like this,' Uhura said and Spock realised that his statement had only served to increase the problem. 'Don't I matter to you anymore?**'**

'That statement is more illogical than I believed of you,' Spock said once more unable to work out her method of logic.

'Forgive me, I'm only human,' Uhura said and Spock wondered if that was also meant to be an insult at him, but whether it was at his human half or his vulcan one, he wasn't certain.

'If you desire, I will return after the match and we will discuss this further,' Spock said conceding that the matter wouldn't be dealt with as quickly as he thought and Uhura nodded. 'Then I will return in approximately two hours time.' Without waiting for a response he departed, as he had told Kirk it would not be long before he arrived for the chess match.

* * *

Kirk allowed his entrance immediately upon arrival, already waiting at his usual seat at the chess board.

'Excuse me captain for my delay, I believed the matter with Miss Uhura would have been dealt with more quickly than it was,' Spock said, also taking a seat.

'I am never going to get you to call me Jim am I,' Kirk said, moving a piece.

'It would not be logical,' Spock said, moving a piece of his own, to put his strategy into place.

'Mr. Spock, you're a stubborn man,' Kirk said and moved his next piece. 'Checkmate.'

Spock studied the board and sure enough, he was indeed in checkmate, though he was not aware how that had occurred. 'And you are an illogical one,' Spock said, tipping over his king in defeat. Kirk ginned and began setting up the board again, this time as white. 'You were aware of Uhura's presence at the time of our earlier conversation and yet you pretended not to be.' Spock said, changing the subject to one he was more capable of pursuing.

'I was the one who gave you leave of the bridge, so yes, I was aware,' Kirk said and made his first move.

'So why then, did you act surprised that she was still in my presence?' Spock said when Kirk gave no further response.

'Look, Spock, I don't know why you want to break up with someone as beautiful and fiercely intelligent as Uhura, but you allocating all her time to me isn't going to make her think your not interested and let go; it's only going to make her think she's done something wrong and make her fight that much harder to make it right,' Kirk said, standing to get a glass of water. 'Your move.'

'If you were aware of this, then why are you only now informing me?' Spock said, not have seen the possibility that Kirk could have been aware of his plan; much less find a fault in it.

'I guess I just thought that if you were given enough time you would realise it,' Kirk said. Spock tensed as he realised how his own plan had been used so effectively against him.

'You were aware events would occur this way,' Spock said, moving his first piece. 'That by attempting to solve this problem indirectly I have allowed Uhura to come to the wrong conclusion, just as you have done with me.'

'I suppose you could put it that way, yes,' Kirk agreed, barely glancing at the board before moving another piece. 'Though to be honest, I didn't expect for you to show up for our game yesterday.'

'Uhura also claimed confusion as to the reason behind that action,' Spock said and Kirk nodded, but when no question came out of it, Spock realised that he actually wanted to tell Kirk the reasoning he had been unable to tell Uhura, moving a piece as he determined the right words to say.

'So did you think about what I told you?' Kirk said, before Spock could say anything.

'I have done so,' Spock said, feeling an illogical amount of satisfaction at giving such a short response.

'And?' Jim said, impatient.

'While it is logical that the expression of emotion does indeed vary, why is it that Uhura expects me to express emotion in a specific manner, despite being vulcan and having experienced an event to such a degree that no human has ever experienced or could comprehend?' Spock said, before looking down at the board and noticing the last move Kirk made had prevented the strategy he had been forming, forcing him to turn to a new one and move his next piece.

Kirk paused for a long moment, as though seeing something otherwise invisible to the eye. In a smooth movement he turned back to the board and moved a piece, before looking back up at Spock. 'You see Spock, humans, when experiencing loss, often seek reassurance. It isn't expressed in the same way, sometimes through an acknowledgement that the one they cared for will not be forgotten, or the reassurance that they have not been left alone in the world.' Kirk paused again and Spock took the moment to analyse the information he had received, before he noticed the holo-image of a man and a woman who could only be Kirk's parents. Both had an expression of simple human joy, their arms wound around the other, pressed chest to chest, only their faces turned for the image to be captured. 'I keep that as a reminder that my mother was actually happy once,' Kirk said, catching Spock's gaze. 'She never actually let my father go and in doing so became a living reminder of his life. You asked about Uhura and why she wanted you to confide in her. It's because she may not feel the pain like you do, but she's in pain simply because she can see you are.'

'But that is not logical,' Spock interrupted, not comprehending.

'Love is one of the most powerful emotions, purely because it is illogical. If it was logical it could be contained, rationalised, but then it would not be as destructive or as healing a force as it is. Spock, I can't really believe I am telling you this, but this time you really needed to act logically. You need to tell Uhura that you want to break up with her, though I don't understand why. All this illogical response for illogical humans is only a delaying tactic. You need to tell her or she will never understand, especially considering the length of time the usual Vulcan relationship lasts,' Kirk said and the chess game was forgotten.

'I am curious that you are aware of such things. I did not believe you would be interested in such matters,' Spock said and Kirk's eyes narrowed briefly.

'Ok, I'll bite, Selek told me. Apparently he wished me to be aware of something and he didn't believe you would tell me, as you would regard it as being too private. With the loss of Vulcan, though, he was uncertain as to what effect it would have on this occurrence and to keep an eye out,' Kirk said calmly, though briefly Spock noted that he had not actually bitten him or anything else. It was the rest of the statement that surprised him, as he realised despite his heritage, he was not spared that Vulcan fate.

'What purpose did he have in informing you of this matter?' Spock said; his mind now focused on the secondary matter of why Kirk found out. Despite his elder self's assertion of their potential relationship, he had not considered it sufficient for the revealing of such a secret.

'Because he knew you wouldn't and he knew I would need to know if something did happen,' Kirk said and while Spock believed those were the answers given by his elder self, it was highly probable there were more factors Kirk was unaware off. 'You didn't answer my question earlier, why do you want to break up with Uhura?'

'Due to the effect of the loss of Vulcan, as well as she who was my mother, I was not thinking logically when I entered a romantic relationship with Uhura,' Spock said, frustrated by his lack of ability to explain his situation accurately.

'So wait, you're telling me that Uhura had to trick you into being in a relationship with her?' Kirk said surprised and Spock found his phrasing only slightly more accurate than his own. 'What was with the kissing on the transporter pad then? Or the "if we don't succeed, tell Uhura I…"? You were making me feel like I was a side kick in a twenty first century chic flick.' Kirk's gaze was steady on Spock's own, tilting his head forward in an illogical attempt to listen with greater clarity.

'I do not understand the reference,' Spock said, although he did remember Uhura attempting to force him to watch such a movie during a free period, it had been too illogical and he ceased giving his attention after 12.563 minutes.

'Ok, basically Uhura's the main character, a beautiful, feisty and intelligent girl, who has the choice between the guy who usually gets the girl, despite being a complete idiot who doesn't deserve her, or the quiet, intelligent, stoic guy, who is surrounded in mystery and comes from a completely different world to her and is her senior officer, making it that much harder for them to be together. Face it, you two sound like every cliché romance novel put together,' Kirk said and Spock gave a short nod, continuing to analyse Kirk's words.

'I had not realised you had romanticised my situation so completely,' Spock said before asking the question that truly required being asked, 'I am curious, however, as to how you not only managed to watch enough so called 'chic flicks', but gave them attention sufficient enough to discover a trend in the plotlines?'

'Lots of practice, Spock,' Kirk said a small grin forming on his face, 'lots and lots of practice.'

'Indeed. If I understand your metaphor accurately, it does not explain why you have cast yourself in the roles of both the rival and the sidekick,' Spock said, accepting Kirk's answer, as it was unlikely he would get a more detailed one.

'Because originally I was the rival, but the situations changed now and I am far happier to help you out with whatever you need, thus the sidekick,' Kirk said, standing and crossing the room to his replicator. Spock knew Kirk had it installed after they had begun to play chess with him on a regular basis and having meals together. 'Do you want anything Spock?' When Spock indicated a negative answer, Kirk took his water and sat down on the bed so the chess set was no longer between them.

'However, I cannot approve a scenario where you are not at the very least, regarded as my equal,' Spock said, causing Kirk to chuckle, seeming more at ease now.

'It's strange for me too, but you have already, even if by accident had a longer relationship than I ever hope to,' Kirk said, his smile altering to the point that Spock couldn't make out what emotion it was expressing. 'Plus you have that thing, which makes finding your special someone that much more important. Besides I only need one lady in my life and that's the Enterprise.'

'I find it difficult to believe you have been unable to find a woman desiring more than a short term relationship,' Spock said and Kirk laughed again.

'I'm flattered you think I could have a stable relationship and study hard enough to get my lady in only three years, but even I'm not that good. At best I've had a few flings,' Kirk said, standing once more to get rid of the glass he was holding.

'Captain…' Spock said, but he was uncertain on how to continue; only that something had to be said.

'Don't you need to be getting back to Uhura?' Kirk said and Spock realised that Kirk desired to be alone.

'How are you aware of that?' Spock said, not wishing to return quite so soon.

'It wasn't too difficult, considering Uhura's tone when I was talking to you both earlier,' Kirk said, his usual smile returning. 'Just think about what I said, though; no matter what happens, she is going to end up hurt.'

'I too, have come to that conclusion,' Spock said, his eyes flickering to the chess board and Kirk laughed.

'You want to finish that chess game first?' Kirk said, moving back to sit at the table.

'That would be acceptable,' Spock said, turning back to the chess board and moving his next piece.

* * *

'I thought you said two hours,' Uhura said as soon as Spock entered and he took note of her changed outfit, deducing that she had not expected him to return.

'I made that approximation based on the length of time I usually spend playing chess with the captain. Due to the nature of our discussion at the time of my calculation, I did not factor in the additional time that was added due to the events that occurred three hundred and sixty-six Earth days ago,' Spock said, editing himself as the truth would only make Uhura angrier, despite the illogic of it. Also he was not sure what to make of the conversation that had transpired and realised it would only lead to further misunderstanding if he attempted to tell her.

'I don't get it,' Uhura said and Spock for a moment, illogically felt that time was repeating itself, as she had once again given no indication as to what she was speaking of.

'As I said in our previous conversation, that phrase on its own is ambiguous and thus I can make no suitable answer,' Spock said, watching her carefully for the slightest indication of what Uhura was thinking. Part of him wondered if this was actually leading up to the break up he was hoping for and yet it was not going as he planned.

'You and Kirk, I don't get it,' Uhura said and suddenly the possible meanings for Uhura's statement both expanded and reduced and left Spock no closer to an answer.

'You continue to avoid specifying what it is that you fail to understand. Am I correct in my hypothesis that this is the reason for our prior conversation?' Spock said, trying to force Uhura to state what she was thinking.

'You and Kirk… Why are you so determined to be friends all of a sudden?' Uhura said and Spock confusion rose, not understanding the new line of questioning. He's plan had now become more illogical, complicated by Uhura's seeming jealousy of the captain. Now Spock had recognised it as such, it seemed to become increasingly evident and he wondered how he had not recognised it for what it was sooner. 'I mean I understand that you two got over your problem with each other while fighting Nero, but this…' As Uhura broke off, Spock tensed, realising now what he had to reveal.

'You are correct in your belief that the Captain and I came to an understanding in the fight against Nero,' Spock said, his gaze wandering off Uhura's to the human curve of her ear, as he struggled to find words to explain their decision. 'However, both the Captain and myself have failed to inform you of another event which has caused the both of us to deem it logical to become further acquainted with each other.'

'Excuse me?' Uhura said and Spock realised this was a reflexive response and not a request for him to leave and so he continued.

'Due to the nature of the information that I will tell you, I must request that this conversation in its entirety, be known only to yourself,' Spock said, and for a brief moment he wondered if his counterpart would have informed the Uhura of his time, just as Spock was about to.

'Fine,' Uhura said and Spock, for once leapt without looking.

'As you are aware, Nero and the others on board the Nerada came from an alternate future, however, his ship was not the only one to arrive here from that time,' Spock said and Uhura drew in a sharp breath. 'To my knowledge, only the captain and myself are aware of the true identity of the ship's pilot, however, it is logical to believe that others have been made aware of that particular information.'

'So who is it?' Uhura demanded.

'It is myself,' Spock said simply and Uhura's eyes widened.

'Wait, wait, wait… What? Are you saying there are two of you running around here?' Uhura said, her hands pressing to the sides of her face, an action she often unconsciously did in an attempt to relieve pressure.

'Though that is an inaccurate description of our current action, the nature of the question is not incorrect,' Spock said. 'As you are also aware, after the… destruction of my home world, I marooned the captain on Delta Vega for mutiny. It was there, Nero stranded my counter part, so he would witness the destruction of Vulcan. It was also at that time the two became acquainted with each other and the captain was convinced to force me to reveal the level at which I had been compromised. It was due to their meeting, the captain was able to return to the ship in time to save Earth, using a formula that Mr. Scott created in the alternate timeline. The captain was sworn to secrecy and so I was unaware of the possibility of my counterpart's existence in this universe, until I was required to fly the ship which brought him into this universe. I was later confronted by him after my decision to resign from Starfleet.'

'So you really were going to leave then,' Uhura said and Spock momentarily wondered as to why she believed he had not been truthful in his intentions.

'I believed it to be logical at the time, to assist in rebuilding my species,' Spock said, grateful for the circumstances that allowed him to remain on the Enterprise. 'With the existence of my counterpart, my assistance was no longer necessary and I was told to 'follow my heart'. He then informed me that in the alternate timeline, that he and the captain had a friendship which defined them both.' Spock saw a flash of understanding in Uhura's eyes, but did not pause to question it. 'Due to my strained relationship with my father, the death of my mother and the difficulties I'd found in acceptance from other Vulcan's due to my human mother, this potential appealed to me in a way that I had not expected.'

'I need to know, was I even the slightest influence in you choosing to become first officer?' Uhura said and Spock paused. During his time with Uhura, he had found that there were times when she was in a highly emotional state, that she would request an answer she was not ready for and he believed this was one of those times.

'I do not know how to proceed, since I believe your question stems from emotion and my actions at that time were made with the intention to comply fully with what was logical…'

'That's bullshit and you know it,' Uhura said and Spock desired for some excuse to be elsewhere, but there was none. 'And don't even think about telling me about how the use of that term is illogical. Why are you even with me?'

'I believed that my presence was required to discuss your present distress,' Spock said, deliberately misinterpreting her words.

'You know that is not what I meant,' Uhura said sharply. 'Why are you in a romantic relationship with me?'

'It is logical,' Spock said, and it was logical, if only as she had not yet requested termination of it.

'Ok then, why are you friends with Kirk?' Uhura said and Spock could see the slight tensing of her jaw, indicating pressure from her lower teeth on the upper, making it difficult to hear her clearly.

'I request that you open your mouth to allow for clearer communication,' Spock said and noticed Uhura moving further back.

'Stop avoiding the question,' Uhura said more clearly this time.

'Due to the illogical nature of this discussion, I must take time to consider my words, to prevent the situation from escalating beyond this point,' Spock said, finding his reprieve, for any further escalation at that point could lead to potential for great injury.

'Why do you keep referring to Kirk as 'the captain'?' Uhura said.

'I thought it logical to refer to him as such, due to the source of your stress being the relationship between myself and the captain,' Spock said, wondering if this lack of familiarity had aided the conversation in any way.

'Well, don't… and answer my question,' Uhura said, in what a human would call a 'child like' manner.

'Very well. Jim and I have agreed that due to the strong connection between ourselves in the alternate timeline, it would be logical to attempt such a friendship in this one. This has proven to be more successful than either of us anticipated. Jim has an extremely logical mind; one that works in the most fascinatingly illogical ways,' Spock said, words coming out in a rush now that he had someone to explain his observations to. He had found the captain highly capable in following any experiment Spock chose to talk about, however he was unable to talk about this one particularly fascinating one in which Jim was the subject and the lack of collaboration had caused doubt in his results. 'In chess, for example, he never follows any recognisable strategy, and yet he is able to win in forty-nine point five percent of our games. He is ruled by emotion and yet never allows others to control those emotions. It is… fascinating.'

'Are you attracted to him?' Uhura said and Spock hesitated, unable to follow the question, when he had been speaking of intellect.

'His mind is…'

'I meant physically. Are you attracted to him?' Uhura said, cutting him off and Spock repressed the urge to frown.

'I had not considered Jim in terms of aesthetics,' Spock said and it was true. While he was at some level, aware of Jim's physical influence on others, the prizing of the mind above all other matters was the Vulcan ideal. 'Is there anything else you wish to know?'

'Would you be able to give me the contact details of your counterpart?' Uhura said and Spock hesitated, only momentarily, before giving them to her and soon after retreating to his room.

Once there he followed his nightly routine, determined for the ease of repetition that calmed him enough for sleep most nights. First he adjusted the alarm to prevent the fire alarm from signalling from the smoke and gathered together his incense and placed them around the room, lighting them as he went. Once done he changed into his meditation robe and after checking if it was free, used the bathroom. As he went through the motions, however, one thought prevented the lull in thoughts that eased his transition into meditation. It was what Uhura said about Kirk. He had not lied to her. Indeed it would have been illogical to lie about such matters, however, the scientist in him took the puzzle all too eagerly, determined to find the source of the question.

It was all too quickly, Spock found himself having completed his physical preparations and yet in no way mentally prepared. Seating himself on the mat, he allowed himself to breathe in the incense, yet its familiar scent did not calm him as it usually did. In his head… Jim. Memories drawn up and analysed in ways he had never allowed himself. If he were to analyse his feelings on the matter, they were a combination of exhilaration and terror.

The amount of information he had unknowingly retained about his friend was disquieting. The ease Jim felt with his body; the shades of blonde in his hair; the blue of his eyes; the confidence; the variety of emotion he displayed almost constantly. It did not take long for Spock to see the validity of the question, nor the corresponding matter of the high probability that Uhura was correct in her assessment and that he was indeed attracted to Kirk physically, as well as mentally. Further examination of the matter, however, would not be logical and would in fact be counter productive in his aim of creating a stable work environment and so carefully Spock bound together the emotions now linked to those memories and buried them in his mind. They were due to arrive at Carrfee _(car-fee)_ in 8.95 hours and so Spock decided to take the opportunity to take rest.

* * *

When Spock arrived at the bridge 7.5 hours later, he found the captain in a quiet discussion with Ensign Chekov and Lieutenant Sulu.

'Mr. Spock, you made it,' the captain said before turning around to face him. If he had been any other individual, Spock would have requested to know how he was aware of his identity, but he was well aware that any answer the captain would give would be highly illogical.

'Yes captain?'

'I was just discussing landing party procedure with Sulu and Chekov here, but now you're here, have you got any recommendations?' The captain said, showing just how seriously he still took his position. As the human saying goes, "If you asked him a year earlier he would not have been able to predict such an outcome".

"I am certain you will have made the logical choices when choosing ground party members,' Spock said causing the captain to smile.

'Thankyou Mr. Spock, I appreciate it,' Kirk said, his eyes giving Spock the illogical impression they were twinkling. 'So shall we make final preparations then?'

* * *

**So ends part one of Spock's POV. Please let me know how I am going as I will consider any recommendations, as I have not yet completed part two. I am also curious as to how many people got the two references. One should be fairly obvious, but the other, which was the first one I meant to put in, (the other kind of just slipped in lol) is going to be a fair bit harder if you don't know the place it came from. Also I have recently realised I will need to use four points of view in this story, so it will probably end up being 6 chapters instead of 3 like I planned. Anyway thanks for reading and I hope you come back for part two.**


	3. Spock pt 2: In case you were wondering

**See, I told you it wouldn't be long, but this chapter wasn't as easy as I hoped it would be. Anyway just so you know, I am trying to layer POV so that you get the same scenarios from different perspectives to give a complete picture, so because of this there may be some questions that aren't answered in this chapter, but should be in the next POV. Anyway now for Spock part 2.**

* * *

The carrfae _(car-fay) _were waiting for them when they beamed down onto the planet. From the small group that had gathered to greet them, fifteen in total, they were quite unlike any humanoid species Spock had thus far encountered. From what he could observe, the carrfae wore a limited amount of clothing, so as to expose as much of their skin as possible for aesthetic appeal; however, this was not to emphasise the features associated with reproduction, but rather the skin itself. Every exposed part of the carrfae appeared to have been elaborately tattooed with a variety of metallic colours, forming loops, rings and swirls, not unlike a human fingerprint and the setting sun gave their bodies a silvery sheen. The clothes they did wear, had the same colour for the top and pants, but the colours had as much range as their skin and the tops worn by both genders were sleeveless and ended at the point where the sternum would end in a human and the material pressed closely to their skin. The pants they wore, if they could in fact be referred to as such, merely seemed to serve the purpose of concealing their genitalia, but no more. Their hair was colourless and long, with no difference in length between the male and females and both had hundreds of what appeared to be gems beaded through multiple braids. Their ears were quite different as well, appearing to be quite similar in shape to the fairy wings of human mythology and their eyes were large, almost round, similar to the nocturnal mammals of Earth.

As Spock observed these differences, the female members of the group moved towards them without fear, joy radiating from them. Each one moved towards a different member of the landing party and reached for their hands. Spock flinched back from such intimate contact, his eyes moving to the captain, whose hands were held tightly in the carrfae's and their arms were swinging side to side between them before their arms swung up above their head in an arc and they were forced to spin to keep their hands joined. The carrfae let out a pleased sound and pulled the captain close, pressing her mouth to his forehead. The carrfae in front of Spock moved in front of him now and seemed to attempting eye contact, getting more distressed when she could not. Allowing his eyes to meet hers, Spock felt a sense of welcome flood through him and she relaxed. Quickly they hurried away and some of the men stepped forward. Like the women, they went for the hands, except for the one before Spock, who waited patiently for Spock to observe what the others were doing. This time the carrfae pressed the tips of their fingers to that of the humans and raised their hands above their heads, before moving out in a circular movement, their hands pressing closer together until their palms were flat against each other. Once again the carrfae took the human's head in their hands and pressed their lips to their forehead. Turning back to the carrfae before him, Spock felt a sense of openness, complete mental openness, that had Spock instinctively locking down on his own mental restraints when he felt them being pulled at. At this, the man did not quite frown, but Spock could sense his displeasure. Once more they more they moved back; making way for a new arrival. Unlike the carrfae before, this one's skin was faded and her hair was coiled around her head, free of decoration.

'People of federation, I bring welcome you. I given name Coventina _(koh-ven-TEE-na)_. I mother carrfae,' Coventina said. 'I told alliance desired.'

'That is correct,' the captain said, moving forward confidently. 'I am Captain Kirk, and this is my first officer Commander Spock.' Spock nodded his head in acknowledgement and Coventina looked over him carefully.

'Spock, you not like others,' she said. 'You closed off, but aware.'

'You are correct, my father was vulcan, not human,' Spock said.

'Have you had meal? We feast,' Coventina said, without pausing for response, making it clear there was to be no debate on the matter. Turning around, she led them towards the city, having been beamed to spot close to the forest bordering the city. As they entered, it was made swiftly apparent that the buildings were designed to be as aesthetically pleasing as possible, without compromising the stability of the structures. The building they were led into was long and wide and extremely quiet considering the number of people inside must have numbered in the hundreds and the tables and benches they sat at stretched almost all the way across the room. It quickly became apparent why it was so quiet, when Spock felt the heavy attack on his mind due to the immense onslaught of telepathic activity.

'Meal time is family time,' Coventina said and Spock realised belatedly that the captain had asked a question. 'Come.' Coventina led them to the end of a nearby table and sat down. The carrfae, it seemed, like vulcans, were completely vegetarian. The captain sat down beside her and Spock next to him, clamping down further on his shields as a Carrfae sat down beside him.

'Spock?' She said hesitantly and Spock turned to face her, noticing it was the woman who welcomed him earlier.

'I am Spock,' he said, when she said nothing further.

'I am Boannan _(boh-ANN-ehn)_,' she said and Spock felt the tentative press of her mind against his, nudging against his mental barriers. When she became aware that he would not allow for such an intrusion, she began to cry. It was not only her crying either, Spock observed, as many other carrfae broke off their conversations midsentence to cry as well. 'I not understand. You aware. You aware, but alone. No one touch your… your thoughts. Why you hide from us?'

Spock froze, unable to think of a logical way of dealing with such a heavy amount of emotion. 'It is not the vulcan way. We find it an invasion of privacy. We rarely touch each other so that our minds remain our own.' This did not appear to be the correct thing to say, as Boannan only wailed louder, as did the others.

'Lonely. Lonely!' Boannan said, her hands clamped over her ears.

When she quieted, Spock said, 'I believe you do not understand. I am not alone.'

'They not aware, not as you aware, not your pain or happiness; they blind to you,' she protested and Spock nodded in acknowledgement.

'They are not, but I am not alone, for with my familial bonds I am never alone. Even now, as far from them as I am, I still sense their existence,' Spock said, slowly becoming more certain of his answers.

'You have familial bonds?' Boannan said, her face clearing to be replaced with hope. 'I pleased. Do have… m-marriage bonds?'

'Yes we do, though such a bond is usually formed at seven years of age,' Spock said.

'Are such bonds made for life?' Boannan said, her face serious and Spock found the sudden shift alarming.

'Yes, for at least one of the bond members, such a bond is for the remainder of their life,' Spock said.

'And do you have such a bond?' Boannan said, her eyes flickering to the left of Spock for a moment.

'No, my intended died with she who was my mother on my home planet,' Spock said.

'I thought…' Boannan clapped her hands, before glancing down at Spock's plate. 'I stopped you eating. Please do now,' she said and turned back to her own plate.

As Spock began to eat his own food; a bright pink and blue soup, made of two immiscible substances that separated as soon as left undisturbed; he became aware that the captain was in a conversation with Coventina.

'So Spock, you're probably better at explaining this than me. What impact does the federation have on the cultures they ally with?' The captain said, turning to his right to face Spock and Spock, taking his cue, launched into an explanation.

* * *

'Captain, it is quite remarkable how you manage to find yourself in these situations,' Spock said when they were taken to their sleeping chamber.

'How was I meant to know they form alliances through weddings and stonings? This is only the second time the federation has made contact with them,' the captain said with a huff.

'Indeed, the situation with Ensign Chekov is quite a dire one, I will attempt to negotiate with them tomorrow, to see if such an act can be avoided, or we may need to take a more direct approach to the situation,' Spock said.

'You really have a knack for the understatement, Mr. Spock,' Kirk said and looked around the room. 'Hey Spock, we may have a bit of a problem here.'

'Indeed, it appears they have only given us a single place to sleep,' Spock said, looking around the small room they were assigned. 'It is fortunate that, as I am vulcan, I do not require the amount of sleep a human does.'

'Are you sure? I mean we could figure something out, I mean…'

'I am. I will need time to strengthen my mental shields, I was not prepared for such an actively telepathic race,' Spock said trying to hide the fact that his controls were fraying.

'Wait, you say they are actively telepathic?' The captain said, surprised. 'Why didn't you tell me sooner?'

'I have not had the opportunity to do so, though, I did not know you were unaware. Even for a psi-null, I find it difficult to believe that amount of psychic ability was not felt,' Spock said. 'It is quite different from being among vulcans, or even humans, as the former block projections and the latter do not do so intentionally, nor do they actively seek to corrode the defences I form against such projections.'

'Ok, another question, how is it that you nearly got shot?' Kirk said, his eyes taking on a look of mischief that Spock was not fond of. 'I mean, according to Bones, you'd think that shot would change course mid shot and hit me; I mean I was standing right beside you.'

'If you were not so eager to place yourself in danger, your rate of injury would decrease to a more acceptable level. As for your point about the good doctor, I would not attend to his paranoia,' Spock said, causing the captain to laugh.

'Don't let him hear you say that,' the captain said.

'To my knowledge, he has heard me say such on multiple occasions. Your warning is a belated one,' Spock said, his eyebrow raising, making Kirk laugh harder.

'True,' the captain said, before his face turned serious. 'Anyway, if I wasn't the one in danger, I would just be placing someone else in danger and that is even less acceptable.'

'To answer your original question, one of the carrfae children was curious as to the function of the phaser and when they were unable to find the answer, they activated the it,' Spock said, conceding the captain point.

'Oh, well as long as it wasn't intentional or anything,' the captain said scratching the back of his neck. 'Well I guess I better contact the ship and get some sleep. God knows how Bones is holding up after not hearing from us.'

'I was under the impression he was not interested in reports from the ship. To quote "I don't want to hear what dumbass things you get up to when I'm not around",' Spock said causing the smile to return to Jim's face.

'Yeah, well you just wait; we'll be getting complaints from communications about him harassing the officers. He just says he doesn't care to hide just how much he does,' Jim said and walked over to the other side of the room, flipping open the communicator as he walked. Spock sat down on the floor while he waited, as no other furniture was in the room.

* * *

'Good old Bones,' the captain said as he returned. 'He was asking after you, you know?'

'Indeed, I would not have expected such an outcome.'

'Yeah, well he tried to get me to promise not to tell you,' the captain said grinning.

'But did you not just inform me of it?' Spock said confused.

'Yeah, well he couldn't see me doing this now could he?' Kirk said holding out his hand which revealed the middle finger crossed over the index finger.

'I do not believe I am aware of the gesture,' Spock said, curious.

'It's an old human gesture, I'm not really sure where or when it originated, but it basically means that you don't really intend to follow through with the promise,' the captain said and Spock realised it was another one of the illogical things humans did and chose to forget about it. 'Anyway I better go and get some sleep.' The captain stripped off both shirts as he walked and sat down on the bed, removing his boots and socks, before pulling back the covers and climbing under them. 'Hey Spock, do you know how to turn the lights down?'

Spock looked around the room and saw a knob sticking out of the wall next to the door and turned it, causing the room to fall into darkness. 'Sleep well captain.'

'Um, thanks Spock,' the captain said.

* * *

Spock did not relax at all during the night.

As he had surmised, the Carrfae were nocturnal and the level of telepathic activity grew and fell at an inconsistent rate throughout the night and this gave the illogical impression that time passed at decreased rate. When the captain did awaken, it created in Spock a great amount of relief, as he had been unable to concentrate on a finding a solution the remainder of the night, nor the next morning.

Sitting up, Jim said, 'afternoon Spock,' but while his voice indicated cheerfulness, Spock had noticed Jim had also been quite restive.

'Indeed, though I do not understand why you feel the need to point out that fact,' Spock said, refusing to acknowledge the pride he felt when the captain's smile became genuine. Nor was it logical to analyse a situation when one is not prepared to accept all potential consequences.

'Wow, you look as good as I feel,' the captain said.

'I do not believe my appearance has so significantly altered since you last looked at me,' Spock said, trying to avoid drawing attention to his severely weakened mental state.

'I should have fought harder about the bed, I'm sorry,' Kirk said, one hand running the back of his neck.

'Apologies are illogical and unnecessary considering the situation. Indeed the quality of rest would have been poor at best due to environmental factors, which seem to have affected you own rest, despite being psi-null. Add to that the short duration of rest, which would remove any benefit in attaining sleep,' Spock said. The captain nodded, needing no further explanation.

'So, did you work out a way of helping Chekov?' The captain said hopefully.

'I must confess, I was unable to discover an effective solution, within mission guidelines, while in my current state,' Spock said, trying to prevent his colour from altering to match the shame at such a loss of control.

'We'll think of something, we always do,' the captain said confidently.

'I believe the human saying is, 'there is always an original time',' Spock said.

'It's 'first time', and I guess there is, but it won't be this time,' Kirk said, looking around the room and giving a small smile. 'You know Mr Spock, I never imagined I would ever be discussing ship business with you, in bed.' Laughing quietly, Kirk straightened out the sheets around him.

Spock tilted his head. 'Captain, it is my understanding that you have been confined to sickbay with such frequency, there is very little we have not discussed while you are in bed.' Once again Spock was given the illogical impression Jim's eyes were sparkling and he certainly did not feel warmer, it would be illogical considering the temperature had not fluctuated to even a minute degree.

'Oh, I could think of a few things,' Kirk said, with a slight incline of his lips. 'But enough about my high heel collection, we have to save Chekov and I have to avoid getting married.' Spock chose not to analyse the statement, a decision he often made when human illogic exceeded any possible reasoning and picked up the captains shirts, handing them over and waited patiently for the captain to put them on.

Leaving the room, Spock became aware of the increasing buzz of telepathic activity. It had decreased at some point in the morning; however, it appeared the carrfae projected even in sleep, to the minds of those around them.

* * *

It did not take them long to find the carrfae who had already woken, as they were standing outside the building Chekov had been taken the previous evening to prepare for his 'task'. It had been explained to Spock that the sacrifice would create a life long marriage, and show they would die for their allies. This did not explain why neither the ensign, nor the pilot was currently in discussion with Coventina.

'I don't like this,' Kirk said, his eyes narrowed. 'Come on Spock; let's see what's going on.' Pushing their way through the crowd, the captain led them to the carrfae leader, who smiled upon seeing them.

'I hope you slept well,' Coventina said, her arms stretching out to take the captains head in her hands and place a kiss on his forehead.

'I did,' the captain lied, the smile he gave deceptively real, but Spock could see the strain around his eyes.

'It is a joyous day. Very few allies come to us with the intentions of joining our people with love bonds,' Coventina said, her face reflecting her words, but something felt off with the emotions, which kept Spock on guard. Though he was able to keep out the thoughts of those around him, his barriers were strained and it was frequently too much effort to keep out the emotions; especially those that wished to be felt.

'Excuse me?' The captain said and Spock realised this would be one of the situations where humans reflexive responses would hinder the situation.

'Indeed, it can be the only reason why this man; Hikaru was it?' Sulu gave a small nod, though his face remained blank and he stood slightly in front of Chekov in a defensive position. '…Would come to the room of the sacrifice last night. Indeed he confirmed it himself and stated that you, James, wish to take the place as sacrifice.'

Spock noticed the captain's face had lost a significant amount of colour and he too was barely able to restrain an emotional out burst.

'If you do not mind, I wish to confer with Lieutenant Sulu,' the captain said and Coventina twirled her arms so her arms were bent and her palms facing outward, which the captain must have taken as acceptance, for he grabbed the lieutenant by the arm and dragged him a distance away.

Despite Spock not being able to hear the conversation, it was quickly made obvious the captain was discussing him, when the lieutenant looked at him a total of twelve times, the last five with an expression of guilt. When the captain turned around, Spock saw an expression of fury on his face and he motioned Spock to join him, while the lieutenant returned to stand beside Ensign Chekov.

When Spock neared the Captain, Kirk's face relaxed slightly and he said, 'you know Spock; a year ago I would have never thought that you would be the one person that had complete trust in me.'

'What did the Lieutenant say occurred?' Spock said and Kirk smiled.

'I should have had you talk to him, you're damn near giving me frostbite and I'm not even the one who did anything wrong, for once,' Kirk said laughing and Spock inclined his head, acknowledging the illogical statement. 'Look Spock, don't give him too much of a hard time. He really thought he was doing the right thing, besides you will be too busy trying to save this alliance. Oh and you will have to make they don't, you know, kill me,' Kirk said and Spock's hand tightened around the other behind his back.

'You state that as though it is not already a frequent occurrence,' Spock said and Jim laughed again.

'Then you should be an expert by now,' Jim said and Spock immediately tried to piece together any sort of plan which could save Jim. It would not be permissible to allow his… injury. He was removed from those thoughts, when he felt a hand clench his shoulder and his eyes met Jim's own. 'Hey, I'm trusting you to get me out of this. I haven't finished with you yet. Getting you to develop a sense of humour was only the beginning.'

Spock froze, his mind cataloguing every part of Jim's face and expression, imprinting them in his mind. Jim clapped his hand on his shoulder once more and was gone.

'Jim.'

Spock barely even noticed when Sulu came over a moment later, his only words were, 'I didn't know'.

* * *

Dinner was just as loud as it had been the previous evening and yet just as vocally quiet. This night, Spock did not even make an attempt to eat as the captain's absence, as well as the reason behind that absence only increased turbulence of the emotions he felt. The fact he had not a moment to himself was dizzying and he felt quite ill. It was not until he woke from unconsciousness that he realised just how much.

'Wake up Spock. Union is now. Must wake.'

Spock groaned as his head pounded and he could not tell if he were hearing the words with his ears or his mind. After far too long, the words began to sink in and his eyes opened to see Boannan leaning over him.

'You awake. Hurry, not much time.'

No more encouragement was needed and Spock leapt out of bed and ran out the door to see a large circle of carrfae and in the middle was Coventina, Lieutenant Sulu, Ensign Chekov, an unknown male and female carrfae, another unknown male carrfae and Jim, the last two were bare chested and their arms bound in front of them with ropes of the same metallic colouring that seemed to be favoured everywhere and on their knees. It was then a sparkle caught Spock's attention and he saw each of the carrfae holding two large gems behind their back. It is also then he realised just how quiet it is, vocally and telepathically, and his mind aches to relax now that there is no threat to his shields.

'First, we sacrifice. Prove our loyalty,' Coventina said and instantly the carrfae raised one of their hands, holding the gems high.

Later Spock would have no recollection of what happened next, neither the cry of rage nor him shoving past the carrfae to cover Jim as best as he could. Protect. Whipping his head around, he stared at Coventina, his sudden uncontrolled fury mounting as he saw her smile at his reaction.

'I see that you are displeased by our actions, Spock,' Coventina said, smile widening. 'Would you take the place of your friends and take the one who you hold so closely to you now and unite our people?' Coventina's sudden fluency was ignored as Spock fought to think through the words she spoke over the haze of his emotions.

Jim, it appeared, had taken this opportunity to crawl out from Spock's protective hold and he took Spock's face in his hands, forcing Spock to meet his eyes. Calm slowly seeped through the haze and Jim rested his forehead against Spock's.

'Spock, this may be our only option,' Jim whispered hesitantly and Spock's protectiveness grew and he clenched his eyes to try and hold onto the wisps of control that he seemed to have gained. Spock trusted his captain, his friend and if he thought it was right, as Spock could not provide a solution of his own, Spock would do this.

'Yes.'

'Excellent, preparations will be underway,' Coventina said and there was a loud trilling.

* * *

An unknown time later, Spock found himself once more sitting in front of Jim; the tension in his mind easing again, now that Jim was safe.

'Spock, I have to go now, Boannan wishes to speak to you and I need to talk to Coventina, will you be ok?' Jim said and Spock found himself, almost reflexively about to reply in the negative.

'I will be fine, captain,' Spock said and Jim smiled.

'Ok then, try and stay out of trouble,' Jim said and left the room, Boannan entering immediately after.

'You are looking better,' Boannan said happily, as though Spock's present state was entirely due to her actions. 'Now that mess is out of the way, we can finally prepare the true union.'

'You… you did not intend for Ji-the captain to bond with Macha, nor Lieutenant Sulu to Ensign Chekov?' Spock said, already suspecting the answer.

'No, of course not,' Boannan said with a laugh. 'We want this alliance to be strong and that cannot happen when the two people forming the bond are not aware. That bond would not last, nor did they expect it to. Their ways are not ours and they are not yours.'

'If this is the basis of your logic, my bonding with the captain would also be illogical,' Spock said, his hands moving to clasp behind his back.

'There is one factor you are not acknowledging, Captain Kirk is aware of you and that is all that's needed,' Boannan said and as if her words were the key to a complex mathematical formula, all the moments that seemed random were revealing a pattern.

'If the captain is indeed aware of me, as you suggest, I was not aware of it,' Spock said.

'Is this not wonderful then? You shall be parted, but never parted, never and always touching and touched,' Boannan said, in what could only be described as glee.

Spock's hands gripped tightly to each other to fight down his sudden anger. The lack of meditation, adequate rest and the constant strain of being amongst so many active telepaths wore down on his ability to stabilise his emotions and it was becoming more and more difficult to do so. 'How are you aware of those words?'

'Your shields drop in your sleep,' Boannan said, as though she had not trespassed his mind. 'T'Pring was it? She was lovely, but I only saw her as a child. I do not understand.'

'That was the only time I saw her,' Spock said, his eyes hardening.

'No matter, you will have Kirk soon, he will fill your void and you won't be lonely anymore,' Boannan said and cheerfully skipped over to the door, her hair swinging and causing the beads to clatter against each other. 'I will fetch him now and then we can perform the ceremony and you will be bonded; everything will be good again, you will see.'

'You did not mention stoning?' Spock said, uncertain as to if she should be reminded.

'Oh that, it's not happening,' Boannan said.

'I was made to believe that is part of the alliance ritual,' Spock said, relieved that it was to be avoided now.

'No, that would have been punishment for betraying us, when we knew that if such a marriage were to be made it would not be recognised, or would be reversed,' Boannan said unconcerned and without another word spoken, she left.

Spock stared at the door, feeling almost as helpless as the moment he realised she-who-was-his-mother was to be forever lost and only just out of his reach. His mind was frayed from his steady loss of control and soon it would be shared with another. He did not dare to consider the damage he may inflict on his captain's mind in such a state.

Moments later he heard a knock on the door and he turned around in time to see Kirk slip into the room.

'Hey,' Kirk said quietly and Spock nodded back. 'I was wondering; will this be permanent? I mean I doubt you want to be stuck in my head for the rest of my life.'

Spock hesitated before answering, 'It is possible for such a bond to be ended, yes.' He did not mention the repercussions of the breaking of such a bond. His hated eyes must have betrayed, though, as Jim took a step closer, his eyes imploring.'

'Spock…'

'We're ready now.' Spock and Kirk turned to the door to see who had interrupted them, to see a young carrfae, the metallic sheen of her skin still bright and her movements fluid as she made her way over to them. 'Oh, I am so excited. It has been many months since the last bonding and there is nothing more beautiful.' She had yet to stop moving and her stream of emotions clattered against Spock's shields as the beads did in her hair. 'Oh, I have not introduced myself and I was told it was oh so important.' Moving over to the captain, she took his hands and raising their arms, they twirled on the spot in greeting before she took his face and kissed his forehead and stepped back. 'My name is Fianna (fee-ye-na). Come now, you must dress and then we will go.'

The clothes they were to wear were quite different than the ones Spock and Kirk were used to; consisting of a barely opaque sarong with beads of many colours, that fell to just above their knee (Spock's was dark blue, woven with silver and Kirk's was green woven with gold) and their wrists and ankles were covered in thin, plain metallic bangles. On their chests and neck, symbols were painted using a substance that appeared similar to the carrfae's natural skin pigmentation.

Once this was done, Fianna led them outside and across a small stream to a circular island. Around the outside, white stone pillars, draped with vines were placed evenly and white concrete circle rose out of the centre, but it was not a slab, but tiles and in the spaces, various types of plants and flowers lined each tile. Spock and Kirk were led into the middle and told to kneel, join hands and wait. The first was done easily enough, but Spock hesitated before complying with the second; it was only after Jim gave a small smile that he was able to do so and felt the hum of emotions under his touch.

Kneeling there, he truly realised what his mind had been piecing together all along and that was the carrfae were a complete contrast to the vulcan. From the beginning, Spock realised they were different, but it was rare to find a race that had this level of dissimilarity: where vulcans show their respect for the mind by allowing privacy, the carrfae show there's by sharing it; where vulcans focused on logic, carrfae cared for beauty; where vulcans prided themselves on logic over emotion, carrfae favoured emotion over logic; vulcans are solitary and carrfae thrive in community; vulcan's live in a desert planet and carrfae live in forest, where vulcans appeared the same, the carrfae were as different as fingerprints. Kneeling in the circle so similar to the place of koon-ut-kal-if-fee, yet so different, looking into the eyes of the one to whom he would be bonded, Spock never felt more isolated from anything he ever knew.

After a short time, they heard the sound of flutes playing and growing louder from all directions and as the carrfae arrived and Spock realised another detail, this would be no small, private affair, hidden in shame, but a celebration and Spock did not know which was worse. A short distance away, another couple knelt parallel to Spock and Kirk and Coventina came to stand in the middle.

'Here we witness a union in love and the creation of an alliance between the carrfae and the federation. On the behalf of the carrfae, the ones who will shoulder the responsibility and show the strength of our alliance are Fianna and Nuada (noo-AH-da) and on behalf of the federation we have Spock and James Kirk. Now join me sister, Epona (eh-POH-na) and to join these minds to one another for as long as they hold emotion in their hearts. My brothers and sisters, join your minds and bless these unions.'

Spock would never forget, in all the years he lived, the smile the captain gave him as Coventina placed her fingers at the point where their skull met their spine, (the place the carrfae used for telepathic connection) and entered their minds. Nor would his infallible memory ever allow him to forget the first tentative touch of Jim's mind. As their minds moved ever closer together, a tidal wave of water washed over the dry, cut and scarred surface of his mind, yet it was as gentle as the breeze and healed his mind with it's breath. The healing bond drew Spock in so deep he felt as though he was travelling with the captain's blood. It was nothing like the bond he shared with T'Pring and…

Coventina's hands dropped and with much effort Spock drew back and threw down a wall between their minds. He could feel a pulsing, steady as a heartbeat at the back of his mind, but ignored it and looked outward, meeting Kirk's confused gaze.

'Spock, what…?'

'Where is it?' Boannan said as she broke away from her place in the circle, her voice a mixture of shock and confusion. 'It was right there a minute ago and now it is gone, silenced.' Her eyes closed, her head tilting to the side as though listening intently, the beads clattering against each other. Spock tensed as he felt her mind drift across the bond, before slamming against the wall dividing Kirk and Spock's minds, driving Spock to his knees.

'…_spock_…'

Spock dimly recognised the captain's voice, but it was muted as he felt another slam against the wall and it was almost with relief when his mind went black.

* * *

**Sorry this isn't as long as the last chapter, but Spock kind of fainted. Anyway, what did you think of the alien race I created? I know there is probably a fair few questions as to why Kirk hasn't decided they just leave and forget about it, but they will be answered in Kirk's POV which begins next chapter. Also, you have probably noticed that Kirk is showing a degree of empathetic ability, it is just I read this really cool essay and they explained how they believed Kirk in the original series did have those abilities to an extent and, well, I kind of found myself agreeing with it and so I included it. Despite the fact no one answered the last lot of questions I will ask another and the answers will be in the final chapter. The question is, who do you think said 'what have you done?' at the end of the first chapter? Thanks for reading and I hope you all stick around for the next chapter in Kirk's POV. Hopefully it will be a lot easier than these two have been.**


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